I have been remiss in my feminist duties not to call out Barack Obama for his “sweetie” comment. Like the earlier one about “the claws come out,” this comment was demeaning to women in general and should be condemned even by ardent supporters like myself.
I realized this last night when I was giving a friend hell for leaving his away message on AIM as “Women!!!!” This comment, which could be interpreted in different ways, nevertheless rubbed me the wrong way and I shouldn’t let Obama get away with similar things that, if said to me or about me, would have me requesting an apology. It’s obnoxious, and he should make a public statement.
However, I remain a supporter of Obama, and I would argue to people who point to this as the latest in a long line of perceived slights that have led them to swear they’ll vote for McCain, that they should ask themselves: is “sweetie” worse than “cunt”?
And of course, what about that other big-name sexist on the campaign trail?
Yes, I’m talking about Bill Clinton.
Sally Quinn of the Washington Post wrote a brutal column about Bill’s history and how he is Hillary Clinton’s own Jeremiah Wright.
Leaving aside Monica Lewinsky for a minute, shall we revisit Paula Jones? In 1999, Bill Clinton had to pay “$90,686 (U.S.) for testifying falsely in the highly publicized sexual-harassment suit brought against him by Paula Jones, the first time such a penalty has been imposed on a sitting president.”
“Ms. Jones, a former employee of the state of Arkansas, had argued that Mr. Clinton, then governor, had propositioned her in a hotel room in Little Rock in 1991. The case was dismissed before trial by Judge Wright in April, 1998, but Mr. Clinton worried that it would be reinstated by a higher court and offered to settle with Ms. Jones, who had sought far more in damages than she received.” (This is from the Globe and Mail in Canada. I don’t have a link ‘cause I got it through LexisNexis. Aren’t you jealous? Oh, and by the way, when they say propositioned, they mean “pulled his pants down and showed her his weenie.”)
And as Ms. Quinn pointed out, Hillary Clinton didn’t make public speeches denouncing her husband’s actions.
I and many others have argued that Bill Clinton’s infidelity is not any of our business. If he and Hillary are OK with their relationship, cool.
But sexual harassment is not OK, even in an open relationship. In a Christian Science Monitor article (also from LexisNexis,), I found this quote: “On one hand you can say if you are interested in the overall equality of women as a group you have to say ‘I would take Bill Clinton,’ ” says Nancy Dowd, a law professor at the University of Florida in Gainesville. “But his conduct has been so demeaning that he has set women back enormously.”
Another woman said: “’We, as a country, had the opportunity to come forward and make a statement that no matter what office you hold or what job you have you cannot sexually harass women and get away with it. Bill Clinton got away with it,’ says Linda Hitt Thatcher, a Landover, Md., lawyer who specializes in sexual-harassment cases.”
Fact is, back in the 90s we overlooked a LOT of shitty treatment of women in his personal life because he was far better for women politically than the other options.
And his wife overlooked it for reasons that are only hers and yes, none of my or any of your business.
But she’s still with him, and he’s still playing attack dog on the campaign trail, and I’ve still not heard any denunciation of his actions.
Sure, people can change. And I bet after the blow-up about “Sweetie,” Obama won’t be saying anything like that again. I hope he’s thought about why it was wrong and not just that he can’t say it in public because he’ll get called out in the blogosphere.
But let’s not get mortally offended over “sweetie” while forgetting Paula Jones and Kathleen Willey and even 21-year-old Monica Lewinsky.
Yes, Bill Clinton denied sexually harassing Jones and Willey. He also denied having sex with Monica Lewinsky before he admitted it. But it was easier to give him a pass then because he was a mostly pro-woman president, and the people accusing him were so vile. Hell, I was even nervous writing this, wondering if people were going to accuse me of being a right-wing shill.
But I’m not.
I’m just a young feminist who came of age under Bill Clinton and Lewinskygate, and while I think it was stupid for him to be impeached over it, it was not stupid for it to be an issue any more than it was stupid for Anita Hill to be an issue, and certainly not any more stupid than “sweetie” or “the claws come out.”
Footnotes:
The Globe and Mail (Canada)
July 30, 1999 Friday
Clinton agrees to pay $90,000 in Paula Jones contempt ruling U.S. judge’s fine for false testimony in sexual-harassment suit marks first time such a penalty has been imposed on a president still in office
ANDREW COHEN Washington Bureau
INTERNATIONAL NEWS; Pg. A19
Christian Science Monitor
February 24, 1999, Wednesday
Clinton’s role in heightening sexual-harassment debate
Warren Richey, Staff writer of The Christian Science Monitor
USA; Pg. 2
Appreciate your thoughts on this subject. You pointed out one accidental slip of the tongue can’t be compared to a history of demeaning and chronic behaviors to and with women. I agree. I’m not offended by a politician who makes a slip of the tongue while exhausted, who works and votes to protect my reproductive and equality rights.
I call people “sweetie”sometimes with no disrespect intended… in fact it’s usually in a friendly slip-of-the-tongue manner. Like Obama, it’s not a common utterance I can be accused of using. However, is it considered less sexist because I am a woman?
You may or may not have heard — Barack did apologize to the reporter in question, by a telephone call that was recorded as voicemail. I heard it on Harry Shearer’s radio show yesterday. It appeared to me to be sincere, although I will grant that we have naught but appearances with which to work.
This is a great post. Indeed there are great differences between Barack and Clinton. While what he said is slightly patronizing I don’t believe it should have turned into the media sensation that it did. Being socialized in an inherently sexist society, patriachal privilege is part of his male identity. That said is it the worst example of sexism, or of infantalizing women…not by a long shot. People need to move and to bigger issues.