New Year’s

December 31st, 2008

It was New Year’s Eve when I first kissed the boy I was supposed to marry.

This will be my second New Year’s without him.

We didn’t make it to two years–we celebrated two New Year’s together, and now I have two alone. Last year I spent the evening with friends who knew and loved both of us, and it was wrong and yet right that I was with them.

This year I may well spend it completely alone. Me and a bottle of pink champagne, a bubble bath and more bad TV.

2008 was good to me. Very good, despite economic turmoil and occasional drama and one painful, wrenching moment (Kacie, I miss you).

I made a lot of new friends this year. I learned a lot, both in school and out. Most importantly, I feel as though I’m just inches away from the life I want, and I’m not giving up now.

I kissed some great boys this year, too. (Yeah, that’s right.) And nothing really fell apart afterward. That’s always a bonus. So I don’t really mind not having a New Year’s kiss.

Of course, 2008 will always be the year we elected Obama. I hope he will live up to at least some of our hopes, and be worthy of our work, our sweat, our support.

I read some great books and comics, saw some great movies, heard some great music. I’ll have more to say on that later, of course. I got tattooed, got paid decently for my writing for the first time, worked hard and played hard. I remembered how much fun it is to dance.

And though there were many people who were part of the year, who helped make it great, in the end I have myself to thank for it. I learned to trust myself again, and to trust myself more than I ever did. I questioned that trust over and over again, but I say goodbye to 2008 with it strong.

Maybe I should be more afraid of 2009 than I am. We live in scary times, after all. But right now, I’m looking forward to it.

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